Boo

Just a little reminder… you have to let all the graphics load on the main page first before x-ing or minimizing the Geocities ad-box window in the right hand corner. If you try and close the box before all the graphics finish loading, it will stop the loading processes and the site will look like crap. Just thought I’d share that with you.

It’s one of those days that feels like it needs a nap right in the middle of it. Now would be a good time, but I feel I still haven’t decorated my house enough yet for Halloween. The really funny/sad thing is I’m going to all this trouble of making my place look spooky and I don’t even know if I’ll actually be opening the door to kids on Sunday night. I know, I’m such a suck.

I guess it would be wrong of me to cocktease all the kids in the area with a cool looking house, only to have them show up in a couple days and find out that I’m not even home. Knowing me I’ll buy a couple bags of candy either at Costco or the supermarket and shell-out goodies for a few hours at least. After all, I’d hate for the giant spider and big pumpkin to go to waste.

For everyone else out there, have a happy and safe Halloween.

Happy Halloween… two days early!

Yah. It’s Friday. The Friday before Halloween. Yah! A few people came to the office today dressed up. I wasn’t one of them. I’ve had enough problems trying to come up with a costume for the parties this weekend. I didn’t need to worry about one more outfit. I figure I could just show up here with my hair un-washed and wearing last night’s clothes and that would be scary enough. I was actually expecting more people to get into the Halloween spirit, but I guess one just looks strange wearing a costume two days before Halloween.

Oh, and so far the Secret Slimmers have passed the Zoey-Test. The Zoey-Test being I am total clutz and bump into everything and anything. I don’t know why I do, I just have a bad habit of it. Yesterday was no different. I was walking into my kitchen and naturally I cut my entrance a little too close to the counter and bumped my leg against the cupboard door. Of course I couldn’t have been wearing my leather pants. No. I had to be wearing my pleated skirt and new Secret pantyhose. I thought for sure I’d torn a hole in the nylons but as luck would have it, they were fine. Not even a scratch. Not even a run. Either they have a built-in healing factor or they are stronger and better made that most nylons I get. Yah for the super-pantyhose!

Both Shooting from the Hips and Dirty Laundry are on line today. See how much I love you people. Even without a costume and while celebrating my awesome pantyhose, I still managed to get my columns up on line for you to read. Hope you like ‘em. Sorry, no Halloween theme this year. That’s the problem with being low mouse on the totem pole. You don’t get the cool holiday features right away.

The morning after

So the Red Sox win the World Series and there’s no Thursday Morning Mail-Bag Letter of the Week. Actually, the two have nothing to do with one another, I was just stating facts.

Why is there no letter this week? Because once again I became bored with the idea. So many of you sent in interesting emails that I will get around to answering, but right now I just feel like bucking the system and doing something new. That’s my biggest problem. I change my mind a lot. Someone once told me I change my mind more than I change my bra, which I took to be a good thing at the time, but looking back could have been a real comment on my personal hygiene.

Boo to them in that case. I will answer emails when I feel like it or when I can’t think of anything creative or interesting to say in my updates. (Repetitive blogs about New Beetles, Smart Cars, shopping in Buffalo, Secret pantyhose and Ashlee Simpson might be some people’s idea of lackluster updates and a serious absence of creativity) So everyone, thanks for all the emails, keep ‘em coming and I will get to each and every one of them.

Last night’s show is what’s on my mind right now. Being as special guest of BenQ Canada as they presented the BenQ Live Concert Series event for October meant one thing to me; free food and drinks. Let me tell you… my head is still throbbing. I can’t help but wonder, is it a good thing when the bartender has your rum and cokes ready and waiting for you even before you reach the bar, and the waitress bringing around the snacks knows your name? It also gave me a chance to hear Stabilo live.

You may recall I honestly had no idea who they were when I first found out about the show, but after seeing them play, I can tell you… they rock pretty hard. Really nice bunch of guys too. Friendly and all with a good sense of humor. I even met a few guys from Michigan who drove five hours just to see them. Now that’s dedication to a band. You can check out Stabilo’s web site here.

A blah Wednesday

I wore a skirt today to work so I could show off my new nylons. They still feel great. It’s nice to have a pick-me-up on a day like this. It’s not a really bad day or something, just a day when everything feels “blah”.

I might go to Buffalo and do some grocery shopping again this weekend, but I’ll have to see how I feel on Saturday. I still haven’t picked out a costume yet, despite all the great emails I’ve been getting from everyone telling me what I should dress up like. I seriously gave some thought to going as “The Bride” from Kill Bill vol 1, with a yellow track-suit and a huge-ass sword, but yellow track suits with big black stripes down the side are hard to come by these days.

There’s only a few days left in October and it feels like this whole month has just gone rushing by. Normally it’s one of my favorite months for taking walks at night or just looking at seeing all the pretty fall colors, but this year it went by in a flash. Maybe I’ll get some “fall feelings” out of November. Of course, with my 30th birthday coming, I’m sure I’ll be getting other types of feelings.

Loving the new ‘hose

Okay. I’ve been rubbing my legs like a mad woman for the past few hours to the point where I feel I should be slipping folded dollar bills into my underwear and buying an over-priced drink. My legs feel great. Yes. Great. As in Tony The Tiger Grrrrreat. Except I doubt his legs ever felt this good.

I didn’t have the smarts to wear a skirt to the office so I had to wait until I got home to try on my free Secret Slimmers samples. And what a sample pack they are! I love getting free stuff. Send me more. Also, you can tell it was a woman who put together the gift bag samples because there is more than one package of pantyhose included. Only a woman would have the foresight to think of that. Sorry men, don’t feel bad. You’d have to own a few pairs to know what I’m talking about.

Seriously though, my legs feel great. No, you can’t feel them. Just take my word for it. I’ve worn Secret before, but for some reason these babies are cat’s ass when it comes to leg and body shaping things. I may just wear a skirt every day until I’ve used up all my skirts in my closet. Naturally there would be some days when it would be acceptable to “repeat” and wear the same skirt more than once in a week, but those are just small details that can be fixed later on.

I’ve been getting a lot of pats on the back and high-fives from people who read my “special” Hips column about Ashlee Simpson that ran today. I’ll post it either tomorrow or the day after for everyone on the site so you can read it, and then read it again. It was the first Hips column I’ve done for the new paper since leaving the old one. Truthfully it was billed as “social pop commentary” but it’s still Shooting From The Hips.

Speaking of Hips, that reminds me. I need to sign up again at the fitness club. I’ve kinda been letting my membership go and haven’t been working out as much. Probably one of the reasons I’m so glad to get a bag full of Secret Slimmers. Plus they have a pool. I love swimming in that pool. I wonder if they’d let me swim in my new Slimmers?

Back on track

Things seem to be a little better today. The graphics are behaving well on the site and I’m full of beer and chicken wings from last night. Wing Night has to be changed to only once a month, for the sake of my waste-line.

But speaking of that… the good people from Secret Pantyhose came by the office and dropped off nice little care packages for all the ladies here featuring their new “Secret Slimmers”. For those who don’t have to wear nylons or have only tried them on for fun not knowing why we wear them, these Slimmers are a blessing in the form of Lycra goodness. They not only make your legs look good, they also promise “A new line of shaping styles for a shapely and smooth silhouette with absolutely no panty lines.” At least that’s what it said on the note.

Needless to say I walked in to see all the girls trying on theirs. Let me say this; for someone like myself who’s 5′ 10″, finding a good pair of pantyhose is very, very important. What a perfect way to start the day. Yah! Free pantyhose. Funny how it’s the little things that make me smile.

Also, I’ve been invited to the second BenQ Live Concert Series event happening tomorrow night. This time, it features Vancouver-based band Stabilo. I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard of them either, but they seem to be a Christian rock band of sorts and there’s always free food at these types of events. I’ll let you know how it goes. Maybe I’ll wear my new pantyhose.

And yes… even more proof that I don’t watch enough TV. With all the fuss yesterday about my site and my bad mood, everyone expected me to go off on Ashlee Simpson for her lip-syncing crap on Saturday Night Live. I finally saw the tape of what happened and boy, did she come off looking like an idiot! In case you haven’t seen it, it went something like this.

Jude Law introduces her, band starts playing, Ashlee strikes a typical “pop-music” pose to let us know that her dancing will be more entertaining that her music. Suddenly, we hear her voice while her microphone is nowhere near her mouth. Vocals quickly fade out, Ashlee knows that gig is up, so she starts to dance – badly.

She then walks off stage while her band keeps playing. It’s nice to see pop-stars exposed as the frauds they really are.

Okay, so it wasn’t a Milli Vanilli lip-sync deal, but slowly the vail is being pulled off that crappy genre of music and I know a lot of her “fans” turned against her. Funny how these things happen, isn’t it?

Wings will make everything better

Things may or may not be getting better with the site. The graphics seem to load when they feel like it, then they don’t. I don’t get it. Why am I cursed to have this crap in my life? I know there are far worse things like being eaten by a tiger or shot in the ass, but having your web site not work is a real pain. I also know there are millions of children in the world who go to bed each night and none of their web sites work either, but frankly, I’m not them.

I have however figured out a new template for the site and then of course the task of moving each and every single page to a new location and ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH I don’t even want to think about it. So let’s just pray things work out, okay?

Wing Night seems like the best thing possible right now, so as far as I know, it’s on like Donkey Kong, baby! Needless to say I’ll be glad to put this day behind me. Nothing seems to be going right. And it’s not just the web site either. Everything seems to be set on “Piss off Zoey” mode today for some reason. Oh, and I’ve decided the only way to keep this house of mine clean is to clean one room a day. For what it’s worth, my bedroom is now clean and looks great. I also got creative and cleaned the upstairs bathroom too.

I’m now going to mess up the tub by taking a bath and then the bed by taking a nap until it’s wing time.

Not so happy Monday

It’s turning out to be another one of those days. The graphics – once again – are pissing me off. I really have to find a solution to this and deal with it soon. Bad enough that it’s Monday, but now this. Actually, I noticed that even over the weekend things were getting all messed up with the site and the graphics. I’m hoping it will blow over. I just need to calm down and stress less. Too bad all the things that piss me off in this world won’t let me do that.

On a happy note, I did some shopping this weekend. Nothing like helping out the local economy by buying a few new bras. I figure now I’m all stocked up for the winter months. I’m also seriously thinking about doing the chicken wing thing again tonight. Last week half price wings were just too good to pass up, so nine pounds later (split between a few of us I should mention) we all agreed to do it again really soon. Making Monday “Wing Night” sounds like a perfect plan.

A quick one

Short update. Shooting from the Hips and Dirty Laundry are both on line. I had a small problem with my computer last night, but it turns out that once again I was worried for nothing.

All’s good now. I may try and see The Forgotten again tonight, providing there are no loud-ass kids ruining it for everyone.

The Thursday Morning Mail-Bag… sort of

As I said yesterday, I’m having a crap of a time getting all your letters on line. Not that I mind the out pouring (or is it IN-pouring) of emails. Lord know it gives me something to do. But trying to put them on line while still getting used to this new journal/blog/thing is tricky. Tricky like trying to match pink pants with a pink top when it’s clearly not the same shade of pink and everyone will notice. I think the best thing to do is just go with the Email of the Week idea until I figure it out and then try out the “big-girl” ideas instead of trying to get too far ahead of myself.

So without further delay, our first Email of the Week Direct from the Thursday Morning Mail-Bag. (Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Long ring. But still a nice one.)

Dear Zoey,
I was wondering about something. You always talk about having lived in Toronto before you moved here in 2002. I was wondering when you actually lived here and where did you live. Also how long were you in town for and why did you move away?
Thanks. Keith J. – Toronto, Ontario

Keith,
Congratulations on being the first to get your letter answered in the Thursday Morning… blah, blah, blah thing. Actually, truth be told, you are the first because yours is the only email I could post on line without messing up the whole page. Interesting. Maybe it has something to do with you email. Maybe you’re special. I bet you are. Anyway. First off, thanks for not asking about where I got my pants.

You would be shocked at how many people keep writing in asking about my shiny red pants. Even though I pretend to get upset about it, I don’t mind the emails because I crave any and all forms of attention. Oh yeah, your email… To answer your question, Keith, I lived in Toronto from October 1997 until May 1998.

I moved here after spending six months in Ottawa earlier in 97. I had always wanted to see Toronto and I felt that since I was finished college, without a job and telling my parents I was in university, why not see Canada’s biggest city. However my time here was not totally wasted. I entered a chicken wing eating contest and started building a portfolio.

The chicken wing thing did very little to help my career, but the portfolio was great because I started sending out my resume to everywhere and as luck would have it, a newspaper in Montreal called and I moved back there.

Hope that helps, thanks for writing in.
-Zoey

Hmmm… that wasn’t so bad. Kind of easy. I guess I’ve had some practice replying to emails and letters over the years. But that’s it. You get the idea. So keep sending in your letters and sooner or later I’ll get to them I promise.

I’m going to get some rest now. I have a ton of things to do tomorrow (Gotta stick to the Spreadsheet) but I wanted you all to have something to read when you woke up and came to my site, first thing in the morning. Even before you pee and brush your teeth. Well, you can pee first. That’s kinda important. I wouldn’t want you to burst your bladder because you came here first without having… oh you get the idea. Have a cool day.

Great. Now I have to pee.

Hump Day continues…

Well, today was a total wash-out, but my spreadsheet looks great. Now I know what I’ll be doing next week, as long as I don’t lose interest in the idea of living by a schedule. Feels like high school all over again. Homeroom at 9am, English at 9:40, Drama at 11… and so on. But at least I knew where I had to be and when I had to be there. Now all I have to do is transfer this into my PalmPilot and things will be all good. I am such a nerd.

The funny thing is next week could mess everything up for my newly finished Spreadsheet as a few items have come up. One being a possible trip to Ottawa for Halloween weekend which would really ruin my party plans, but save me the trouble of trying to find a costume or two, or three.

I’m not getting my hopes up because this is the third or fourth trip I thought I would be going on, only to find out that someone else will be going instead of me. Calgary, Edmonton and a return trip to Vancouver were all possibilities, but now are just distant thoughts. So if the Ottawa thing works out, then that’s cool. It’s work, I get money and I get an all expenses trip paid for. If not, I’m stuck rooting through my closet trying to find something scary to wear.

As far as tomorrow’s first (and probably last) edition of the Thursday Morning Mail Bag goes, I’m having a bitch of a time trying to get all your letters loaded on line, so maybe I’ll just make it an Email of the Week type thing and see how that works. Tomorrow (according to my Spreadsheet) is also Message Day which means a trip to the cleaners, supermarket and bank are all in the works. I only gave myself four hours to get everything done, so we’ll see how things go.

I’ll try and update either while I’m at work or once I get home, but before I run out to do my errands. Yah for me!

The Hump-Day Situation

As you probably noticed if you made it this far, the graphics are slow to load on the site today. I’m not sure why, but I blame Bill Gates and his damn MSN. If the network wasn’t so easy to use then I would go somewhere else and load my graphics there, but frankly his network is free and I’m lazy. Nuff said. I’m sure things will be fixed later on so when you come back and bring you friends to see my site, the graphics will work.

It’s another overcast day here in Toronto which makes for perfect sleeping/lying around weather. I made a new spreadsheet on Excel yesterday (yes, another free and useful tool of the evil Microsoft empire) so that now I know what I’ll be doing each day and when I’ll be doing it. I know. You must think I’m either a total idiot or have way too much time on my hands.

Honestly, it’s a little from column A and a little from column B. But this way I’ll look at my spreadsheet and see that Wednesday is laundry day while Thursday is Errand Day. As it stands right now there are a lot of white spaces left on the chart which leaves plenty of time open for work or sleep or whatever. Had I actually done my laundry the second I got home today, then I could have squeezed in Movie Day today as well.

Personally I like to get everything done in the morning. If you can drag my lazy ass out of bed then I truly am a morning person. Work, chores, shopping… everything should be done as the sun comes over the skyline and kisses the buildings with a warm orange glow. Yeah. And then in the real world there’s me speeding down Leslie Street like a New York taxi cab, racing to Starbucks, then to work then to my desk (I park the car before I get to my desk) and then once everything looks close to being done, I race home. That’s my day, kiddies.

Still no really good ideas for my Halloween costume yet. I still have a while to think about it, but this weekend I’m either going back to Niagara Falls and Buffalo for a day trip or staying in town and trying to find something fun to do. No matter what happens, I’ll have to get a pumpkin and carve it. Mmmmmm roasted pumpkin seeds.

I already have two cool fake pumpkins in my windows (one in the kitchen and one in the second bedroom) over-looking the driveway so when people come up to the house they will see my incredibly laziness and cheapness right away, but it wouldn’t be Halloween without a real pumpkin somewhere. Even when I lived in Toronto for a total of 6 months in 1997/98 I had a pumpkin. Granted it started to rot and smell after a few weeks and I had to hold my nose when I came in my apartment, but it was a real pumpkin nevertheless.

Here’s a Smart one

Happy Tuesday! I figured that might make everyone’s day. It’s been a slow one around here. I did some work this morning, wrote about over-paid crybabies who call themselves movie, TV and singing stars and then came home. I was planning on cleaning the place up a bit. (I know. You must be asking yourself how can one girl who lives alone make so much mess?) However there seems to be a problem with the water on my street. It could just be my hot water tank, but I’m hoping it’s the whole street because the only thing worse than having to clean a house is having to call someone in to fix a problem with a house.

Speaking of something that doesn’t really have anything to do with houses, all my going on and on about wanting a New Beetle got the attention of the good people at Mercedes. Now before you get all excited like I did and run through the streets telling everyone to kiss your ass because you believe that you’re (or in this case, I am) getting a Mercedes, I should point out that it was the people at the Smart Car division of Mercedes who wrote to me.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, Smart Car is one of the smallest cars in the world. It runs on less than $20 which fills its diesel tank and lets it travel 500km (300 miles) Right now only the two-seater is in Canada, and when it was released two weeks ago, all the dealerships sold out every car they had. Now everyone has to wait until May for the next batch as well as the four seater one.

I get this email asking if I would be interested in trying one out. Keeping in mind that I’m 5’10″ the idea of me getting into a car like this is quite funny, but from what they tell me, I won’t feel cramped at all. I’ll let you know what happens if and when I go drive one. I guess someone who works for the company was reading my site and saw that I’m in the market for a car and though “why not put this loud-mouth tall red-head girl behind the wheel of our incredibly cute little car?” I doubt they’ll give it to me for free, but it does feel good that someone from Mercedes was checking out my site. Ha!

How’s your day been?

‘Tis the season

I went for a quick walk outside and as soon as I took a deep breath, I could smell winter right around the corner. And right away the first thing I thought of was Halloween. That’s right, my favorite holiday is right around the corner and I still don’t have a costume picked out yet. I have at least four Halloween parties I’ve been invited to and I have no idea what I’m going to wear. Arrg!

Of course there are the annual favorite possibilities such as schoolgirl or rock-star-girl or something that has me showing up in a costume and drinking. Thankfully, the people at one party won’t be at another party so the idea of wearing the same costume twice is a possibility.

I could also just drape a bedsheet over my head and go as a ghost

Weekend Update… on Monday

What a weekend! If I hadn’t stayed up so late watching the Yankees and Red Sox game last night, I’d probably be more awake right now. Of course, it didn’t help that after the game I watched the last hour or so of Superman II.

In case you’re wondering, my “date night” went very well. We ended up going to see Shawn of the Dead instead of The Forgotten because for some reason, the cinema suddenly became packed with very noisy, very annoying teens and “twenty-nothings” who talked and ruined everything for anyone who happened to be there to enjoy a movie. Naturally, we went for pizza after. Stuffed crust with pepperoni if you’re taking notes.

I decided to finally drive to Buffalo on Saturday. I can’t believe I’ve been living in Toronto for over two years and I never went state-side before. I did some shopping, bought some groceries and even stopped in and bought this amazing bra at Victoria’s Secret.

Damn, this feels like a “what I did on the weekend” essay from grade school. Minus the part about the bra and Victoria’s Secret of course.

When you’re a kid, you never have to rely on stories about your underwear as page filler when talking about your weekend. Anyway, the bra rocks because it’s a push-up and I’ll say this… I didn’t know “the girls” could look so good. Sorry, no pictures of that… yet. Maybe if I need to increase traffic to the site I’ll start posting pictures of me in lingerie, but would that really work? Don’t answer that one.

On to more important things. Like food! Yes, I did have buffalo-wings. No, because of the bad weather I never made it into downtown Buffalo to try The Anchor Bar. Instead I gave in and went to Hooters. Yes, it was good. Besides, I can try Duff’s Toronto location anytime I feel like it. Hmmmm… now that I think about it, the Crown and Dragon Pub is offering half-price wings today. Okay. Gotta focus.

Sunday was the usual wash-out that it is. Granted the weather was better than the downpour that happened on Saturday, but it was still just a day for finishing work and thinking about the week ahead. Yes. I actually sit and think about the week ahead. I know. I suck. Big time. But I do have a cool bra. So there. Pffffffft.

Well, I’m at work now and I got a few things to do so have a good one and maybe I’ll post later on. Depending on how the day goes of course.

Feeling very girly

It’s official Friday afternoon now, and 12 hours after my last update, I’m doing it again. I just can’t stay away from all you people! The weather, for those living outside the Toronto area, is rainy and overcast and damp… in other words, perfect weather for a cold fall afternoon. But to combat the somewhat drab conditions, I decided to girl-it-up today. Yeah, I know, the idea of being “girly” is comical but today is one of those days.

So out came the faded blue “stretch” jeans (which ironically enough are actually tight, but hug my ass and hips so perfectly… and they don’t have pockets on the butt) and a pink sweater. That’s right, a pink sweater. And not just any color pink either. The kind of pink that matches the background on the site. Yeah. Very pink. Why did I do this? Because I felt like it. I’m actually going out tonight – I guess you could call it a date. Going to see The Forgotten and then for pizza afterwards. How cliche is that?

So does the pink sweater, tight (but stretchy) jeans and upbeat attitude have anything to do with me going on a date? Nope! And it’s not a date. I always swore up and down that I would never gush about a guy or a relationship on this site. My so-called “date” is actually a friend of mine who needs some cheering up so we figured what the hell, “dinner and a movie”. The pink sweater was just an afterthought. It went well with the jeans. The cute ponytail doesn’t hurt either.

So that’s how Friday’s looking so far. I was going to hear home now that my work is done (it’s mostly slow here on Fridays because Monday is two days away and deadlines have already been met) but I ended up sticking around like I did when I was in college, hanging out in the newspaper office and talking with co-workers. No wonder I never went to class. I guess that’s it for now. I’m off to take a quick nap, then to get ready. The pink sweater, tight-but-stretchy-pocketless-jeans and ponytail stay for tonight. I also have a sudden craving for Stuffed Crust Pizza. Go figure. If I don’t update again before the evening, have a great weekend. See you on the flipside.

Something for the pain

When you wake from your sleep… you will find this… a new update! Yeah, I know it’s early/late again, but what do you care? You didn’t have to write it. You were all asleep while I was up thinking of something creative to say because I enjoy updating this site for you. I work for you, people! You own me! Well, not really. But it sure sounded dramatic.

My left hand and right wrist have been killing me these past few days. A couple friends joked that it might be the early stages of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Naturally I laughed it off, but if the pain doesn’t go away in a month or so (I like to give things a lot of time), then I might have to pay a visit to the man in the white coat and see about getting checked out. Did you know that journalists can actually claim disability when they have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?

Amazing. As if getting tons of cool crap for free wasn’t rewarding enough, you can actually sit on your ass cuz your hands hurt and get paid for it. I’m not really worried though and I don’t think it will come down to me taking any time off, but I sure wish the pain would go away. Maybe I’ll just wait longer.

Nope. Didn’t help. Pain’s still there. Oh well.

It’s Friday and I put up the latest recap of Dirty Laundry for you. It was a slow week with no temper tantrums from Elton John or off the wall statements from Michael Jackson. Maybe next week something big will happen. Here’s hoping! I’m off to bed now and then into the office for bright an early tomorrow… or would it technically be “later today” ?

Somthing new, something blue

Yah! I got a new idea. Wah! It’s 12:35 in the morning. Starting every Thursday I will be turning this page right here on my Journal into The Thursday Morning Mail Bag. Yah! As if I didn’t have enough things to do with my time, now I’m going to answering your emails. That’s right kids, your emails.

Much like pressing your face up against the glass during a live broadcast of the Today show while Matt and Katie are talking and being famous for six seconds, now you can get the same feeling of immortality without the trip to New York.

So just keep sending in your emails and starting next week, we’ll open the good ol’ Thursday Morning Mail Bag and see what you have to say. (Please note the use of capitals in the name Thursday Morning Mail Bag, not to mention the over-usage of the term Thursday Morning Mail Bag, in order to stress how cool and official sounding the Mail Bag is.)

Oh… I did it again.I bought something else. Just when I thought there was nothing left to buy, I saw a cool blue satin skirt and I just had to have it. At least that’s what I told myself. So now with skirt in suitcase and suitcase in trunk of car, I’ll be heading back down the 401 to Toronto after spending a short day at the French Offices and a fun Thanksgiving weekend. I also managed to have a Montreal smoked meat sandwich for lunch and do a drive around town so now I’m set until the holidays. Now, it’s sleep time.

Cougar mail

So I get this email from an “older woman” who read my recent column. How do I know she’s older? I’ll explain in a second. The first thing that went through my mind when I read the letter was “Hey, people are not only reading my columns, but writing about them too. Cool.” Then I bothered to actually read what she was writing. Turns out she had a beef with the last paragraph of the column where I so boldly stated that older women have no choice but to consider becoming a cougar if they want to get a man… or something like that.

I basically said that – and this was her understanding of my column – that as a woman gets older she has no chance of either 1) holding on to her man because younger women will lure him away, or 2) if you’re older and single, then nobody’s going to want you except horny, younger men in their 20′s who get their rocks off just telling people they were with an older woman.

I can understand why she felt this way. The column does come off sounding like that, doesn’t it? Well, that was sort of my intention, but not necessarily how I feel. After all, I will be an “older woman” in just over a month and I am also single. Becoming a Cougar doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. But the woman who wrote the letter needs not worry. As she then went on to tell me, she’s an older woman who’s been in a great relationship for years now with her husband. That’s great to hear. Good for her. To her credit she didn’t go on and gush about how wonderful her hubby is.

The point I was making with my latest column was that when people go on and on about their relationship, it serves them right when something goes south. I don’t feel sorry for them at all. Being “in love” is a great feeling, but for crying out loud, keep it to yourself otherwise you look like a knob when things tank. And given the track record of most of my friends and the people in Hollywood, it will tank.

So Emily, thanks for writing in. Glad to hear about your marriage. Thanks for not pouring on the love about how happy you are and it’s a shame you were offended by what I wrote. I don’t feel sorry for it, after all it is MY column. I’m sure there are many older women who have relationship that last and don’t have to worry about becoming a cougar. But for those who don’t, come see me. I’ll be the girl at the end of the bar with the leather pants on drinking raspberry coolers.

One day more

I would hate to quote The Godfather part III on the chance that someone might think I actually watched that horrible installment in a series of classic movies, but honestly, the quote does seem to work here… “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in…” and it’s soooo true.

No sooner did I post my last update when I got the call… I was thisclose to leaving after a rather fun Thanksgiving weekend, but then suddenly Doug (a guy I work with) remembered that I’m in Montreal and as it turns out, we have a “sister” publication here. So what better way to spend tomorrow than visiting the French offices of the paper I work for in a city I used to live in. I guess it gives me a chance to meet the rest of the “family”. Lucky I did most of my shopping already.

Why is it that I feel the need to shop like a nut when I’m away from home? It’s not like there isn’t a Dynamite store in Toronto or suddenly Danier will stop selling leather pants. It always seems like that. I went away to New Jersey for a week this spring and came back with two satin blouses, two pairs of leather pants and three skirts! Well at least now the idea of shopping anymore is far-fetched seeing as I’ll be “at work” tomorrow. Then come early Thursday morning, it’s the open road for me.

Now all I have to do is get the taste of the crab salad that had too much mayo on it out of my mouth.